Should I go? Should I? Why is it the heaviest decisions bare no weight? I see the consequences of my actions (or in this case, actions-to-be) and I see the consequences of the lack of my actions. So the question, again, Mr Demillo, is should I?

More importantly, could I? It's something we've discussed, time and time again. Forget this. Walk away. Just turn around and WALK THE FUCK AWAY. Forget now. Forget him and her and he and I and us and you and them. Forget it all. Walk away. Could I?

Opportunities present themselves in the oddest fashions. They creep up on you slowly, so when they finally present themselves you already are in the state of numbness. Too numb to notice really. And you think, it's happening, this is it - THIS IS MY BIG CHANCE. And you let it pass. Because it took so long to get there, you are numb to it.

Walk away. Can I? Just get up, out of this chair, this place, and leave? We've discussed it so often and now... now. It's tempting. So damn tempting. To just disappear, forget it all. Forget who I am and where we are and go... who knows where. We've discussed it all.

Italy for the summer. Germany and Austria in winter. France in the spring. Seattle at some point. San Francisco, LA, Fort Collins. It doesn't matter really, where we go.

Crap.

The logistics of it don't exist. I'm a math girl. You give me numbers, identities, theories, I will make them work. So why can't I make this work?

Why do I know that tomorrow we'll wake up, on our seperate sides of town, and tomorrow I'll go to work and tomorrow you'll go to work, and maybe I'll see you in passing in the hallways at the studios. And remember that song? The one that became ours as we danced at that concert? You and I and your best friend claimed we were in love. I do love you. And you say such things to make me thing you love me too.

But tomorrow is just another tomorrow. And I must get some sleep. So I love you today. Tomorrow too.

Oh, and I believe the line is... "We will be the generation to change that."