Sometimes the world stands still and I keep moving. Almost spinning. And I fall, again. So I pick myself up, dust my self off, hold in the tears and tell myself to move on.

And the only thing that comes with moving on is more confusion. All I can do is tell myself I'm alright, when I really feel like crying hysterically, screaming at the top of my lungs and beating the shit out of the wall. I feel like every molecule in my body is slamming 37 million different directions but I cannot explode for I am not allowed to explode. I have to be calm, be nice, accept everyone else's problems and ignore my own. Because they don't matter.

I hope it rains soon. I want to lay in the middle of the street and just watch the rain fall like we used to. I want to disappear into that place between the rain drops. Slide into a new life like it's nothing but one more step. Forget about this.

"I don't believe you're leaving cuz me and Charles Manson like the same ice cream."